Saturday Night Vent

So I'm about two weeks away from a lot of quality family time.  I'd dreading it like....I'm trying to articulate this dread in witty and hilarious way but I can't.  Know that it was hilarious and it had something to do with a comic and scary spring away from alien face-suckers armed with eggplants.  I'm really not looking forward to this, "lest you do not understand me well.*"

What I really want to say is that I wish I had an acting job so that I had a good reason not to go.

I love my family.  I really do. I love them and they love me.  And we love each other (except for my parents, who hate each other). But we are marvelously dysfunctional, like the rest of the planet.  In my case, my father is a pretty selfish guy who dresses up like the perfect Dad.  My mom is a passive aggressive turned aggressive woman who likes to be taken care of.  Oh, by the way, neither parent has any kind of substance abuse issue.

In the family dynamic; my sister is the perfect one- the achiever, the swot (Success WithOut Trying).   I'm the one who tries to keep everyone happy.  Both my sister and I are pretty angry about these roles we play.  My sister has a hair trigger temper.  I pretend not to have one- everything's good, I'm fine- until I am pushed off the cliff..  Then I fly back with guns blazing.

We love each other, but I doubt we would be friends if we weren't family.  My sister thinks I'm selfish. I think she is a bully.   I would die for her.

When it comes to the divorce between our folks- we never talk about it.  I don't know what she thinks about it really.  I don't know if it haunts her the way it haunts me.  I sometimes want to ask her, but I know that if I did, she would get angry at me for asking.

I am working like hell to turn in my "Family Peace-maker" resignation.  Of course, this is not going well.  It's being met with a Hell of a Lot of Resistance.  So there's a lot of friction in the family because I'm no longer playing the role circumstances cast me in.

Some folks say that people with troubled pasts go into the performing arts.  If it's true, no wonder I ended up as an actress.

None of this is actually for anyone but me.  But what I really want to say is that I would like to play other roles, from my family life right through my professional life.

*shakespeare!